Mom, I noticed

Hey, mom. It’s me. The child you carried in your body; that baby you used to hold; one of the kids who “grew up way too fast.” Now that I’m older, there are some things you need to know. 

I noticed. 

I noticed how you were always worried when I was younger. You were always terrified that I would get hurt or lose my way. And you knew that you could protect me if I would let you. 

I also noticed how frustrated you were when I got upset about the “strict parenting.” 

I noticed how you never wanted to let me go out into the world because you knew what I now know. It’s a rough place. 

And I noticed the look on your face when I started growing so independent that you could literally feel me leaving the nest. 

I noticed the hidden tears at my graduation. As if you’d just realized that I was heading off to a battle and you wouldn’t be there to guide me. 

I noticed the strength you’ve always had. Even when you get at your lowest, I noticed you were stronger than any person I’ve ever known. 

I noticed, as you battled to be a provider when life didn’t always make that easy. And I noticed that you never gave up- even when you probably wanted to. 

I noticed that, though I’m older, you’re still worried about the things to come for me. You’re still more concerned about the decisions I make, and the path I’m on, than you’ve ever been about your own.

I noticed the way you light up every time you get a miniature reunion. I noticed the way your grandkids make you smile. I noticed the trials you’ve overcome. I noticed person you’ve grown to be. 

I’ve noticed a lot. And maybe I’ve never told you just how much of that sticks with me. 

What you don’t know is that all of these things I’ve noticed have molded me into the person I am. 

I noticed that I try to stay away from big risks, and take care of my health, because I know you worry. I try to make the best decisions, and keep good company, because your fear of the bad things in this world isn’t unwarranted. 

I noticed that, though you worried I would be too far from you when I grew into an adult, you’re always here with me. Everything you taught me follows me around. 

I noticed that I try to stay above the water when I feel like I’m being pulled under, because I’ve seen you swim for your life and make it to the shore. 

Whatever I do in this life- whoever I become- is all because of you. Without you I wouldn’t be who I am. Every decision I’ve made in my life was tested in the waters of how I was raised. And though God is truly to credit for everything, I wouldn’t know Him if I wasn’t born to a mother who allowed me to find Him. 

I noticed, Mom. More than you’ll ever know. And I’ll always be grateful that God blessed me with a mother worth noticing.